Writing.

I added a new quote to my profile sometime today. It's one I stumbled across in all my research for my Walt Whitman paper.

"Either define the moment or the moment will define you." -Walt Whitman

I used to hate Whitman. Really hate him. Mostly because I was a sophomore in high school and my teacher forced "Song of Myself" on us and told us to recreate Whitman's poem in our own words. Needless to say, none of us understood the assignment, and simply spouted out meaningless babble in long exaggerated phrases, because to us, that's what the poem looked like. Junk.

When i saw that we were reading Whitman for my class, I was like, "Gosh darn it, I hate him." Yeah, well, i got over it. Whitman is actually quite wonderful and I'm here to tell you why you need to read "Song of Myself" (just make sure its the 1892 death-bed version, because it's the best one).

Emerson wrote an essay called "The Poet" talking about how the American people were in need of a distinguished voice. This person, the poet, would eventually encompass all of American soceity and become it, giving voice to every American voice, every American thought through his work. Quite a large task, but Whitman decided to take it on and attempt to write something that would achieve Emerson's will.

He did that, or tried to in Leaves of Grass, and more noticeably in "Song of Myself." The poem recites passage after passage, line after line trying to give voice to all emotions an American, a human being can feel. When I was reading it for my class, I became absorbed in it, wondering how he felt, writing his words and knowing that they would either speak the way he wanted them to, or simply fail and fall flat.

Like he said, "Define the moment." His moment was taking on Emerson's challenge and succeeding, or at least we all hail him as Emerson's poet (at least literary scholars do, and me). His role was defined, because he choose to define it. Had he not, would another have stepped in his place to write the way Emerson called for? Or not? Would we even care about the essay Emerson wrote and his challenge to any writers who wished to take it on? No. No one would even know about the essay if Whitman hadn't decided to do it. Therefore, he defined his destiny and didn't it let him control him.

This is why he's one of my new heroes. I can sit here on my own computer, technology in hand and know that i cannot write something as eloquent and as beautiful and as simple as him, because I have not seized that moment and held onto that feeling for more than a moment. Instead, I let the larger scheme of things, my insecurities, my feelings of failure, overcome my own ambitions.

I believe I have some level of talent in my writing. I know that if I devoted all my time to it, I could be successful with it. It only takes my full committment to it for me to succeed.

My best writing comes from when i completely lose myself in it. In the first night I stayed up to write, it wasn't because I meant to. My fingers kept going, and my brain stayed focused for 3 or 4 hours at a time, forcing me to spit it all out. i had no sense of time, of exhaustion and just kept going because I had to get it out. Was this how Whitman felt? I hope so.

In no way will I ever be like Whitman, ever gain that level of infamy and honor. But i can try. I have enough life experience to put into it, I'm well read, and I care enough to share my words with everyone else.

So what is my moment? I have no idea. Maybe I'll know the moment when it comes and knocks me over the head. But i think it's going to come, and I am going to define it, harness it, and make something of myself, because I can. I have a long way to go, to acheive anything, but if I keep trying, forcing myself to write and work at it, it'll happen. Because I want it to. And because I know it will.

You might think that this was a pointless bunch of babble, but I don't. I take that quote literally and when my moment comes, I'm taking it. Just wait, one day you'll see my name on the bestsellers list. I guarantee it.

What's your moment?